


Snowman

by willow_larkspur



Series: Fantasy February [21]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Child Abuse, Dreams/Nightmares are Past Life Memories, Gen, Internalized Abuse, Loneliness, Not Happy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-21
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-15 18:08:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29812359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/willow_larkspur/pseuds/willow_larkspur
Summary: Harry thinks about the contrast between his dreams of past lives where he is loved as part of a family and his current situation, living at the Dursleys.
Relationships: Harry Potter & The Dursleys
Series: Fantasy February [21]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2141499
Kudos: 10
Collections: MC4A Year 3





	Snowman

**Author's Note:**

> Legal Disclaimer: I own my stuff, but not the original source material. That belongs to whoever. Also, the opinions and interpretations I use here may not reflect the same in said whoever that owns the source material. Look, I’m just a poor college librarian. Suing me isn’t going to get you anything but tears.  
> Warning: This work may be offensive to some readers. It also references canon child abuse. Feel free to back out if need be.  
> Author’s Note: I made myself cry. I think I need fluff next after writing all these sad things. Unfortunately the other things I have sitting open & waiting for me don’t look to be much happier.

(^^)  
 **Snowman**  
(^^)

Harry didn’t like dreaming. He knew that the dreams weren’t real, not like real life was, but knowing that they had once been real just made every scene they showed him that much worse. Once upon a time, who knows how many years ago, Harry had once been someone worthy of love and affection. He had had people who cared about him. He didn’t know what he had done that meant that he no longer deserved those things—his dreams didn’t show that part—but clearly he had done something.

He had to have, right? Being sent to the Dursleys had to be a punishment. It had to be, because no other explanation made any sense. He had to have done something that was so horribly bad that he didn’t deserve to be loved or held or anything else that he saw the other kids his age being given freely.

He just wanted to be loved. He would do anything to be included in things like he saw other families do. He didn’t mind the chores or even the punishments that he got from the Dursleys. He would deal with all of that a thousand times over if he could just get a hug like Dudley did or to have someone kiss his forehead like the women in his dreams always did when he was hurt or sick.

Harry just wanted his dreams to be reflected in his current life rather than just his past lives. He wanted to be loved again. He would even settle for just being included in a family again. He wanted it so badly that he could taste it at times, like anise and blueberry biscuits which always lingered even after the sweet was long swallowed and just as bitingly bitter in the back of his throat.

He wrapped himself in the tiny baby blanket that Aunt Petunia let him have in his cupboard. It had long since faded from the bright blue in his fading memories of being a baby and first coming to the Dursleys. The pale blue was still pretty, though, and its lighter color served as a reminder that he wasn’t wanted and could only mooch off of relatives who were generous enough to allow it.

The tears fell with the silence that Harry had learned to use in order to not disturb the Dursleys.

Things were better when the Dursleys didn’t notice him, no matter how badly he wanted to be included in their family.

After all, that was something meant to only happen in his past lives.

**Author's Note:**

> Submitting Info:  
> Stacked with: Hogwarts (Term 14); MC4A  
> Individual Challenges: Magical MC; Claimed; Lunar Era; Old Shoes (Y); Bucket Listing (Y); In a Flash; Two Cakes (Y); Eating Cake (Y); Green Ribbon  
> House: Slytherin  
> Assignment No.: Term 14 – Assignment 04  
> Subject (Task No.): Etiquette (Task#7: Write about someone who wants to be included.)  
> Other Hogwarts Challenges: Fantastic Beasts [124](Someone having bad luck); 365 Prompts [276](No dialogue); Scavenger Hunt [01](Under 500 words); Stop! Hamper Time (Jams)[Wild Blueberry Jame]("Blueberry Skies" - Audrey Mika); Fantasy February (21)[Dreams/Nightmares are memories from past lives];  
> Other MC4A Challenges: WiB [2C](Snowman); Vocab [3A](Mooch); Fire [Hard](Dabbling in Drabbles); Chim [Karma]("Your Arms Feel Like Home" by 3 Doors Down);  
> Representation(s): Harry Potter & the Dursleys  
> Primary & Secondary Bonus Challenges: Fruit Fly; Misshapen Pods; Second Verse (Nontraditional; Unwanted Advice; Spinning Plates; Under the Bridge); Chorus (Wabi Sabi; Machismo; Mouth of Babes; Tomorrow’s Shade; Abandoned Ship; Sitting Hummingbird)  
> Tertiary & Generic Bonus Challenges: n/a  
> Word Count: 428 words


End file.
